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Twilight saga under review
The release of New Moon into theaters yielded exception results, the movie grossing outstandingly more than the first installment of the four parts saga, Twilight.
If you haven’t had a chance to read the books yet, or are not a die-hard foaming at the mouth sort of rabid fan, then this article might just be what you’re looking for to give you a better idea of what you’re getting into, and it’s not just sparkling vampires. This is both a quick summary of the book series and criticism of the series, so it should be understood that it was not intended for negative purposes and is written for entertainment.
The Overview:
A seemingly average and exceptionally pale Arizona girl, Bella, with a special talent for injury and clumsiness leaves her mother and moves to Washington to live her father, Charlie. The town is drab at best and slow paced. Everyone is accepting and welcoming of her for the sole reason that her father is the police chief of the tiny town of Forks. Right away she spins a web of mishmash friends, connected by their fascination with her as she is a new student. Bella notes a collection of out of the ordinary students that, given any other situation, would be worshiped as gods. However it becomes clear that they are loners and separated from the school also their family situation is notably unique yet they receive little attention on the matter. Later, Bella shares a class with one of the unusual siblings, Edward and the interaction flows less than smoothly. Bella’s friendships with the ordinary students grow and her run-ins with Edward also increase to the point of inevitable confrontation. It becomes quickly apparent that there is something amiss and although that would typically ward off anyone else, Bella is intrigued. Key characteristics begin to emerge such as cold skin, abnormal eyes, clammy white complexion; you know all the typical indicators of either A) a serial rapist/murderer or B) deadly vampire. The ghastly secret is revealed, Edward and Bella are in love. Also, he is a vampire likewise his collective family, or coven. Throughout there are moments of awkward pause breaks or slow moments jazzed up with unnecessary clumsy falls, run-ins, conversations, and accidents such involving cars (this being a pivotal moment sparking Bella’s obsessive interest in Edward). Of course, there must be a plot, this being the arrival of other vampires. These new vampires, nomads of sorts, are human-hunters while the Cullen (Edward’s) coven is exclusive to animal-hunting. The placidity of the new relationship between starving children and cheeseburger…I mean, vampires and human, is up-heaved by these nomads as Bella becomes their marked prey. Thus ensues and long drawn out, slow paced chase. Bella, desperate to protect who ever in whatever situation, somehow eludes future-seeing Alice (Edward’s “sister”) and sacrifices herself to the nomad leader, James. A mediocre at best, fights scene breaks out, marked by blackouts and blatant gaps of consciousness as the story is written from Bella’s perspective. Bella survives, barely, and wakes in a hospital. Everything is wonderful and Edward has saved her. They go to prom and have a delightful time all things considered.
The story doesn’t end there. If it did, it would be a relatively popular fan-fiction like story. Instead, it goes on because there is no such thing as a happy ending. Edward and Bella come together to celebrate her birthday at the Cullen residence, resulting in a paper cut. Jasper, Edward’s “brother” and Alice’s mate, loses his weak control and tries to attack. Edward protects Bella but is emotionally devastated. This is bound to happen when eternally trapped at 17. Consequently, Edward leaves Bella and the country. The Cullen family disappears and it seems to go relatively unnoticed. Bella slips into a catatonic like depression and becomes nothing short of an emotionless zombie, and cuts ties with all her friends except the mysterious Indian boy, Jacob Black. Her time spent moping around turns into time spent befriending the amorous Jacob. His affections for her taint his vision, however during the course of Edward’s absence, Bella’s emotions swing towards Jacob. This is a good sign she might be moving on, however she embarks on a journey of emo tendencies…um…reckless endangerment in order to giver herself just enough of an adrenaline rush to hallucinate Edward. Jacob plays along, seeming to be only mildly concerned with her behavior until it is put out in the open. It’s around this time that the revenge of the nomads occurs. The two compatriots of James, Laurent and Victoria (James’s mate), return for relatively separate reasons. Laurent is hungry and Bella is no longer under the protection of the Cullens and Victoria wants revenge for her fallen lover. Then, another secret is revealed. Jacob is in love with Bella who is more or less using him as a fall back and/or substitute for Edward. Also, Jacob is a werewolf and so are the rest of the boys on the Indian reservation. Bella is nothing short of surprised but accepting, which in and of itself is surprising. Most people would suspect such a thing given vampires, and would probably be reconsidering their future plans. Jacob and the other werewolves take out Laurent and protect Bella from Victoria who is apparently faster and stronger and smarter and more skilled than both Laurent and James. Just as things slow down, Bella jumps off a cliff which is used frequently by locals as a diving point. Alice returns and tells Bella that Edward thinks she’s dead and is going to kill himself via forced execution. Vampires apparently have a hierarchy, run by the Voltaire and any vampire to reveal themselves as such is executed. The Voltaire is assumed to be almighty and vastly superior. Bella, still madly in love with Edward though it’s been nearly a year since he left her, goes half way around the world to save him. Another long and draw out, slow paced chase ensues. Just as Edward steps into the sunlight, Bella saves him from his fate. Overwhelmed by the sight of her, he thinks he’s dead, realizes he’s not and begs for forgiveness. Bella meets the Voltaire who gives off the impression that she too will become a vampire, to which Edward is displeased. Edward left her because eventually she would either A) die or B) turn into a vampire. He wants neither of these to be the case but there’s not much that can be done. So, they all go home. Everything’s peachy except the part where Victoria is still seeking revenge by killing Bella – a mate for a mate…for whatever reason she assumes this to be the case even though Bella is clearly not a mate as she is not a vampire.
An intense rivalry forms between Jacob and Edward. Most of the story becomes consumed with Bella being passed back and forth between the two as she wants to preserve both relationships but as the adage goes: you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Victoria disappears for the most part and graduation occurs. It’s completely pointless to the Cullens but something special to Bella. Charlie desperately loathes Edward for leaving Bella and making her into a catatonic mindless zombie, but not for being a vampire who wants to drain her blood to the point of death…granted, he doesn’t know the Cullen family is actually a coven of vampires. Alice gets weird images in her future-sight, Bella and Jasper bond as the vampires prepare to take on Victoria and her newly formed army of newborn vampires and as it is newborns are rabid and bloodthirsty. Bella gets the back story on each family member and as it turns out, Jasper is cold, calculating and ruthless. His days prior to the Cullen coven were nothing short of miserable…it was like something out of the movie Underworld only instead of Lykens, there were more vampires and they were fighting for territory. Then there is a lot of waiting, yielding bonding moments between Jacob and Edward and the vampires with the werewolves. Victoria arrives with her legion of newborns and to make a long and ridiculous story short: they all die. The Cullens, Bella, and werewolves all go home relatively unscathed.
Now the only villain left is dead. There’s only one more thing to do: get married. Bella’s not into the whole marriage thing since her parents didn’t work out. She fights it every inch of the way but Alice and Edward force her into it. The ceremony runs smoothly, the only event in the entire series not riddled by improbably and unrealistic clumsiness, and they go off to their honeymoon. Of course, they have their own island and fantasy cottage escape, something not even found in smutty romance novels. The newlywed couple embark on all the great adventures and such of being married…which are highly censored and only give enough information for it to be understood resulting in mediocre innuendo and hints that are often used by inexperienced writers too afraid to actually openly express their ideas. However, the point is conveyed. Some humor is brought in with broken furniture, cleaning crews who speak little to no English, and of course inevitable pregnancy. Bella and Edward return home, the unborn mutant is slowly killing Bella, and the perspective flip-flops back and forth between Bella and Jacob. Rosalie (Edward’s “sister”) becomes crazy obsessed with Bella and the baby cause she wants one…she wants one so bad. The baby feeds mostly on blood and Bella’s life continues to shorten for the majority of the final book. The birth is horrible and bloody and Bella dies. Jacob has a break down and wants to murder the baby because he is apparently still in love with Bella though she is clearly married to Edward…and dead. His plans of murder fail and he instead imprints on the baby and is now destined to love her for all of time. Edward changes Bella into a vampire a fraction of a second before she dies, she is overwhelmed by the change and “dazzled” as the series indicates all too frequently. The Cullen family gives them a private home and everything seems like it’s going to be okay. Then the Voltaire hears of the baby and decides to come, bringing their entire coven, guard, and army. Obviously this amount of travelers would go unnoticed and is completely necessary to destroy a mutant infant. As it turns out, Bella has an amazing talent and because the baby, Renesme, is able to age and grow, the Voltaire accepts her. As it turns out, Jacob and the other presumed werewolves are actually shape-shifters. They leave, to make a long story short, and Renesme and her love, Jacob, go on their merry way while Bella and Edward live happily ever after.
There are a few things about this story…to keep it brief…which are absolutely ridiculous. First off, if Alice and Edward both knew Bella was either going to die or become a vampire, and dying was out of the question and putting off being an vampire would significantly increase the likelihood of death, why didn’t they just change her in the first place? Second, after a year, don’t most people…I don’t know…move on and find someone new and don’t spend excessive amounts of time lying around depressed? Third, if Victoria was so much better than the other two she palled around with, why was she defeated so easily? Fourth, how do you sneak away from someone who can see the future in the first place? Fifth, did the whole birth process really have to be the only graphic part in the entire series? It was like it was…no…no…I hope Stephanie Meyer didn’t pull a J.K. Rowling. Oh and last point…Is anyone ACTUALLY that clumsy?
All in all, the series isn’t that bad…for a fan-fiction. Its cliché and relatively unimaginative but if that’s the type of thing you’re looking for to kill some time and entertain your brain, it’s great. I read it, I liked it, but that doesn’t mean I think its great writing…or anything close to it. Nice try Stephanie Meyer.
anxiousIf you haven’t had a chance to read the books yet, or are not a die-hard foaming at the mouth sort of rabid fan, then this article might just be what you’re looking for to give you a better idea of what you’re getting into, and it’s not just sparkling vampires. This is both a quick summary of the book series and criticism of the series, so it should be understood that it was not intended for negative purposes and is written for entertainment.
The Overview:
A seemingly average and exceptionally pale Arizona girl, Bella, with a special talent for injury and clumsiness leaves her mother and moves to Washington to live her father, Charlie. The town is drab at best and slow paced. Everyone is accepting and welcoming of her for the sole reason that her father is the police chief of the tiny town of Forks. Right away she spins a web of mishmash friends, connected by their fascination with her as she is a new student. Bella notes a collection of out of the ordinary students that, given any other situation, would be worshiped as gods. However it becomes clear that they are loners and separated from the school also their family situation is notably unique yet they receive little attention on the matter. Later, Bella shares a class with one of the unusual siblings, Edward and the interaction flows less than smoothly. Bella’s friendships with the ordinary students grow and her run-ins with Edward also increase to the point of inevitable confrontation. It becomes quickly apparent that there is something amiss and although that would typically ward off anyone else, Bella is intrigued. Key characteristics begin to emerge such as cold skin, abnormal eyes, clammy white complexion; you know all the typical indicators of either A) a serial rapist/murderer or B) deadly vampire. The ghastly secret is revealed, Edward and Bella are in love. Also, he is a vampire likewise his collective family, or coven. Throughout there are moments of awkward pause breaks or slow moments jazzed up with unnecessary clumsy falls, run-ins, conversations, and accidents such involving cars (this being a pivotal moment sparking Bella’s obsessive interest in Edward). Of course, there must be a plot, this being the arrival of other vampires. These new vampires, nomads of sorts, are human-hunters while the Cullen (Edward’s) coven is exclusive to animal-hunting. The placidity of the new relationship between starving children and cheeseburger…I mean, vampires and human, is up-heaved by these nomads as Bella becomes their marked prey. Thus ensues and long drawn out, slow paced chase. Bella, desperate to protect who ever in whatever situation, somehow eludes future-seeing Alice (Edward’s “sister”) and sacrifices herself to the nomad leader, James. A mediocre at best, fights scene breaks out, marked by blackouts and blatant gaps of consciousness as the story is written from Bella’s perspective. Bella survives, barely, and wakes in a hospital. Everything is wonderful and Edward has saved her. They go to prom and have a delightful time all things considered.
The story doesn’t end there. If it did, it would be a relatively popular fan-fiction like story. Instead, it goes on because there is no such thing as a happy ending. Edward and Bella come together to celebrate her birthday at the Cullen residence, resulting in a paper cut. Jasper, Edward’s “brother” and Alice’s mate, loses his weak control and tries to attack. Edward protects Bella but is emotionally devastated. This is bound to happen when eternally trapped at 17. Consequently, Edward leaves Bella and the country. The Cullen family disappears and it seems to go relatively unnoticed. Bella slips into a catatonic like depression and becomes nothing short of an emotionless zombie, and cuts ties with all her friends except the mysterious Indian boy, Jacob Black. Her time spent moping around turns into time spent befriending the amorous Jacob. His affections for her taint his vision, however during the course of Edward’s absence, Bella’s emotions swing towards Jacob. This is a good sign she might be moving on, however she embarks on a journey of emo tendencies…um…reckless endangerment in order to giver herself just enough of an adrenaline rush to hallucinate Edward. Jacob plays along, seeming to be only mildly concerned with her behavior until it is put out in the open. It’s around this time that the revenge of the nomads occurs. The two compatriots of James, Laurent and Victoria (James’s mate), return for relatively separate reasons. Laurent is hungry and Bella is no longer under the protection of the Cullens and Victoria wants revenge for her fallen lover. Then, another secret is revealed. Jacob is in love with Bella who is more or less using him as a fall back and/or substitute for Edward. Also, Jacob is a werewolf and so are the rest of the boys on the Indian reservation. Bella is nothing short of surprised but accepting, which in and of itself is surprising. Most people would suspect such a thing given vampires, and would probably be reconsidering their future plans. Jacob and the other werewolves take out Laurent and protect Bella from Victoria who is apparently faster and stronger and smarter and more skilled than both Laurent and James. Just as things slow down, Bella jumps off a cliff which is used frequently by locals as a diving point. Alice returns and tells Bella that Edward thinks she’s dead and is going to kill himself via forced execution. Vampires apparently have a hierarchy, run by the Voltaire and any vampire to reveal themselves as such is executed. The Voltaire is assumed to be almighty and vastly superior. Bella, still madly in love with Edward though it’s been nearly a year since he left her, goes half way around the world to save him. Another long and draw out, slow paced chase ensues. Just as Edward steps into the sunlight, Bella saves him from his fate. Overwhelmed by the sight of her, he thinks he’s dead, realizes he’s not and begs for forgiveness. Bella meets the Voltaire who gives off the impression that she too will become a vampire, to which Edward is displeased. Edward left her because eventually she would either A) die or B) turn into a vampire. He wants neither of these to be the case but there’s not much that can be done. So, they all go home. Everything’s peachy except the part where Victoria is still seeking revenge by killing Bella – a mate for a mate…for whatever reason she assumes this to be the case even though Bella is clearly not a mate as she is not a vampire.
An intense rivalry forms between Jacob and Edward. Most of the story becomes consumed with Bella being passed back and forth between the two as she wants to preserve both relationships but as the adage goes: you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Victoria disappears for the most part and graduation occurs. It’s completely pointless to the Cullens but something special to Bella. Charlie desperately loathes Edward for leaving Bella and making her into a catatonic mindless zombie, but not for being a vampire who wants to drain her blood to the point of death…granted, he doesn’t know the Cullen family is actually a coven of vampires. Alice gets weird images in her future-sight, Bella and Jasper bond as the vampires prepare to take on Victoria and her newly formed army of newborn vampires and as it is newborns are rabid and bloodthirsty. Bella gets the back story on each family member and as it turns out, Jasper is cold, calculating and ruthless. His days prior to the Cullen coven were nothing short of miserable…it was like something out of the movie Underworld only instead of Lykens, there were more vampires and they were fighting for territory. Then there is a lot of waiting, yielding bonding moments between Jacob and Edward and the vampires with the werewolves. Victoria arrives with her legion of newborns and to make a long and ridiculous story short: they all die. The Cullens, Bella, and werewolves all go home relatively unscathed.
Now the only villain left is dead. There’s only one more thing to do: get married. Bella’s not into the whole marriage thing since her parents didn’t work out. She fights it every inch of the way but Alice and Edward force her into it. The ceremony runs smoothly, the only event in the entire series not riddled by improbably and unrealistic clumsiness, and they go off to their honeymoon. Of course, they have their own island and fantasy cottage escape, something not even found in smutty romance novels. The newlywed couple embark on all the great adventures and such of being married…which are highly censored and only give enough information for it to be understood resulting in mediocre innuendo and hints that are often used by inexperienced writers too afraid to actually openly express their ideas. However, the point is conveyed. Some humor is brought in with broken furniture, cleaning crews who speak little to no English, and of course inevitable pregnancy. Bella and Edward return home, the unborn mutant is slowly killing Bella, and the perspective flip-flops back and forth between Bella and Jacob. Rosalie (Edward’s “sister”) becomes crazy obsessed with Bella and the baby cause she wants one…she wants one so bad. The baby feeds mostly on blood and Bella’s life continues to shorten for the majority of the final book. The birth is horrible and bloody and Bella dies. Jacob has a break down and wants to murder the baby because he is apparently still in love with Bella though she is clearly married to Edward…and dead. His plans of murder fail and he instead imprints on the baby and is now destined to love her for all of time. Edward changes Bella into a vampire a fraction of a second before she dies, she is overwhelmed by the change and “dazzled” as the series indicates all too frequently. The Cullen family gives them a private home and everything seems like it’s going to be okay. Then the Voltaire hears of the baby and decides to come, bringing their entire coven, guard, and army. Obviously this amount of travelers would go unnoticed and is completely necessary to destroy a mutant infant. As it turns out, Bella has an amazing talent and because the baby, Renesme, is able to age and grow, the Voltaire accepts her. As it turns out, Jacob and the other presumed werewolves are actually shape-shifters. They leave, to make a long story short, and Renesme and her love, Jacob, go on their merry way while Bella and Edward live happily ever after.
There are a few things about this story…to keep it brief…which are absolutely ridiculous. First off, if Alice and Edward both knew Bella was either going to die or become a vampire, and dying was out of the question and putting off being an vampire would significantly increase the likelihood of death, why didn’t they just change her in the first place? Second, after a year, don’t most people…I don’t know…move on and find someone new and don’t spend excessive amounts of time lying around depressed? Third, if Victoria was so much better than the other two she palled around with, why was she defeated so easily? Fourth, how do you sneak away from someone who can see the future in the first place? Fifth, did the whole birth process really have to be the only graphic part in the entire series? It was like it was…no…no…I hope Stephanie Meyer didn’t pull a J.K. Rowling. Oh and last point…Is anyone ACTUALLY that clumsy?
All in all, the series isn’t that bad…for a fan-fiction. Its cliché and relatively unimaginative but if that’s the type of thing you’re looking for to kill some time and entertain your brain, it’s great. I read it, I liked it, but that doesn’t mean I think its great writing…or anything close to it. Nice try Stephanie Meyer.
pessimistic
